Stumpy Had To Go!

When speaking about the cheesecake that was made by nuns and full of alcohol, my grandmother’s oldest friend calls the nuns “foxy ladies.”

Cousin: “Do people from Atlanta ever really call it HOTLanta?”

Uncle: People from Altanta call it MYLanta.”

Same Uncle: “My family had a beagle named Bell when I was young. She had two puppies- we named them Ding and Dong. The man who bought Dong was a little confused by the name, and always had to call out ‘Dong, Dong!’ to find his dog at night.”

SAME UNCLE: “When I first meet people, I tell them: ‘Clean and sober for ten years! Addicted to placebos! It’s really tough to quit, since there are no signs of addiction!’”

And his favorite joke: “This guy with no arms was hired to ring the bells every hour in the church belltower. He used his head by starting on one edge of the tower, and running into the bell to make it sound. One day he missed, and fell into the town square, dead. When the people walked up to him, they had no clue who he was, and one man said: ‘I have no idea who this man is, but his face rings a bell!’ Soon after, his brother, who also had no arms, was hired for the same job, and sadly, met the same end. When the people saw him in the town square dead, the same man said: ‘I don’t know who this is, but he’s a dead ringer for that first guy!’”

SO FUNNY!!!